The Last Four Months... A Dump.
I haven't been posting as often on here as I'd like, so, here's me showing you a glimpse of the behind the scenes.
Hi everyone,
It’s been a while. Well, a few days since I dropped the bombshell about Bookster—but a while since I came on here and just said hello, caught you up on my life and shared a few things.
I’m a lot more active on notes, and on my other social media platforms, but part of me misses these long-form posts where I can basically do a word vomit on the screen without being told I don’t have many characters left.
So… let’s start with something simple. Easy. Relatable. Something that we all love.
Monthly dumps.
January
January. Even though it can feel like the longest month of the year, with the days bleeding into each other, separated only by rainfall and dusk—I enjoyed it a lot.
Yeah, it can be gloomy, and dark, and lonelier compared to the bursting social life you have in December—but on the whole, it’s better for your soul.
Because there’s a balance between rest and socialising.
In January, you can take long peaceful walks with your partner or by yourself, with nothing by your thoughts for company, you can have soulful conversations and quiet catch ups, you can have long evenings enjoying a Netflix series or reading a book, you can just rest, relax, recover.
But you can also enjoy the company of your friends and family at busy dinners. You can dress up till your heart’s content without the dreary thought at the back of your head warning you to save your energy because you have “one more Christmas dinner to attend”.
Because there are no Christmas dinners, or loud parties, or family get togethers that seem to seep into one another.
There’s gentleness. There’s taking it one step at a time. There’s going out because you want to and not because your social calendar is full. There’s rest and recovery, but there’s also a little bit of fun. That’s what I love most about January, the fact that it can be anything you want it to be without feeling guilty about it.
February
I won’t lie, Feb was a rainy, cold and depressing month.
I didn’t do much, other than read, write and go to the gym. I am grateful, however, that I had a chance to get away for a few days (even though Tuscany was just as wet and cold), and that I could dress up and escape the mediocrity of my current existence by celebrating two people in love.
Some months light you up.
Some months bring you adventure.
Some months bring you love.
Some peace.
And some months, you’re just existing, spilling from one day to the next, hopeful for when the sun will shine again and spring will welcome you with open arms.
Thankfully, it’s sunny and warm-ish in London, yay!
I hope it stays that way. But I’m honestly ready for spring after those dreadful, gloomy and wet two months we’ve had so far.
Hope your February went better than mine!
March/April
March was a month of hope, productivity and lots of light.
I attended wedding functions, went to brunch with my loved ones, strolled leisurely by the riverside and let let my soul be drenched in sunsets that felt like coming home. I felt hopeful, alive, after a long time—especially after a long, gruesome winter that seemed like it would never go away.
It was with this bliss that I stepped into April, but the month of April was a different sort. We experienced an awful family bereavement and suddenly, the days dragged on, with uncertainty, grief and a numbness that felt like second skin.
April has been a difficult month.
While the sun has been shining its light on one end, it feels like the yearning for answers, for closure, for peace of some kind, lingers like a heavy shadow on the other end, the other side of the door, the side where healing is gradual and moving on even harder than you can imagine.
Still, I tried to be there for my loved ones, took walks, soaked in some sun and got as much work done as I could. I also finally handed in the latest draft of my novel to my agent at the end of March, which felt like a HUGE win.
But of course, life happened, certain life joys were momentarily set aside, we didn’t celebrate the little things as much as we would’ve liked to, but I’m hopeful that May will be gentler on everyone’s soul. It will give those who need it the closure, peace and healing they require, and me the strength to be there for my family.
I hope your March and April were full of love, light and laughter. I can’t wait to see what this new month holds for us all xx
