The "right person" explained...

I believe we idealise love a lot.

You can blame social media, Hollywood/Bollywood (curse you, Shah Rukh Khan, your many love monologues and that famous arms-out pose), for raising our standards of men and women to such a degree that if my partner doesn’t say, “I cannot breathe when you are not near”—have you seen the trailer for Corey Mylchreest’s new romcom—then I won’t believe he loves me truly. I just won’t.

Whatever the reason, our perception of love, dating and relationships has become misconstrued to such an extent that we paint this unrealistic/idealistic picture of what the “right person” looks like. Specifically, that the right person is there to complete us, heal us, to always keep us on our toes, jitters in our heart, butterflies in our stomach, eagerly waiting for what’s next.

Have you ever thought that maybe the right person isn’t the one who puts you on a pedestal but the one who shows you the mirror. The right person isn’t the one who paints a rosy picture of the world and instead stands by you, showing you that real isn’t isn’t easy. Real life isn’t always sunny, gentle landscapes. Sometimes it’s dark. Sometimes hard and painful. Real life is coping. It is taking one step at a time. Real life is sometimes being okay and sometimes not—but knowing in both of those moments that you are loved. You’re cared for. You’re cherished by someone other than your kin—and that’s where the right person comes in.

That’s what the right person can do for you.

Maybe the right person wasn’t the one who gave you wings to fly, but the one who removed the shackles around your ankles—the ones stopping you flying yourself to wherever you wanted. The right person was the one who showed you that every day is not an adventure, some nights will be long and hard—but they will be there right beside you. They will be there right beside you.

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Love,

Ruby Dhal xxx